Winding path
Well, Roxy is proving to be a true tripawd, taking me on a crazy winding path. She had greatly improved since she injured her hind leg, seemed to be almost back to normal. But she seems to have declined the last few days. Not a whole lot as of right now, but enough to make me worry more. I’ve been watching her leg real close and noticed a couple days ago that it seemed to be sensitive again. This morning she was holding it up a little bit again. I’ve given her another tramadol and am making her rest.
I just hate this…for so many reasons. The pain and inconvenience she’s experiencing, the fear in me and my family, and the horrible thoughts it puts in my mind. I just think of all the stories I’ve read like this that seem to never have an end, or at least not a good end. I don’t want Roxy to hurt, I don’t want her to be confined by anything. That’s not a good life in my opinion. I also don’t want this to be the classic story of “my dog was limping, the vet said it was a strained muscle, she got better, then she was limping again, now my vet says it’s cancer.” Oh my Lord, what a nightmare!!! Roxy deserves so much more. I know, I know, they all do. This isn’t any more tragic than if a 4-legger had injured a leg. But it feels that way right now, in this time, when I’m watching my girl struggle, AGAIN, and praying that this isn’t going to follow that same horrible story-line. Who wrote that stupid story anyway? And why do I keep reading it?
on December 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Don’t worry, Roxy has never read that story. And you can always just close the book and choose to enjoy every moment you have together with her.
on December 20, 2010 at 10:20 am
I agree with admin. It isn’t possible not to worry, but don’t let it control your time with her. She is a wonderful dog and she is living in the moment. Try and learn to do that too. It makes time slow down, and when she is feeling good,it is a lightness of being.
I wasn’t trying to get too metaphysical, but just trying to describe the joy that can come from not letting worry and stress ruin your time with her.
Are you taking her in for a check up? If yes then there is nothing that can be done to worry about before the check up, so put away the pain of worry.
If no, then make a choice on if/when you will consider a vet visit, then put aside everything until that checklist has been met.
I hope this helps, it has helped me. I learned it recently with Sammy and his cancer diagnosis. tThe moments of pain, worry like I have never felt, and anquish that I had somehow created this situation for him.
Not knowing if he would make it week to week has taught me how to let go and enjoy each blessed minute with him that is pain free, or fun filled, or peaceful. The times that are made up of his hurts, or the not so great times, I ride it through with him, moment to moment. It shows me his fraility, but allows us to bond in ways I didn’t think possible with another creature. I hope that I can be that brave and amazing whatever I face.
None of us are guarenteed another minute. Just enjoy whatever you have together,
Elizabeth and Sammy
on December 20, 2010 at 12:49 pm
It is a crazy winding road, for sure.
Read a different story. Write another story. Hang in there.
on December 24, 2010 at 1:55 am
Always remember, that Roxie still faces life head-on, without stopping to wonder “what if” or “if only.” As hard as it is to go through these ups and downs, she wouldn’t have it any other way, she just wants to be with you. So go with the flow, and take things one day at a time, just like she does.
Try not to worry OK? We hope she’s feeling better.