What to do…..?
Hi! I’ve been reading the blogs for about a month now, but haven’t posted anything of my own. I have a few questions, but first for some background info on my baby girl. Roxy is my boxer girl. Well, one of my boxer girls actually….I have two girls and one boy. We bought Kali almost three years ago as a puppy. We loved her so much and we wanted her to have a friend. So we adopted Dakota from a local shelter the following year. That was 2008. Then last summer I see this little boxer trotting across our back yard. She had a collar so I went outside to see if there was a name tag. When I got close to her I realized she was in really bad shape. She was severaly malnourished, covered in bugs, and her paws were swollen to three times their normal size. She was very timid. She came to me, but stayed at arms length, just enough for me to touch her with my finger tips, and she would not make eye contact with me. I lured her to my house with food and gave her a place to sleep. And that’s exactly what she did every chance she got for the next three days. The day after I found her my husband and I took her to the vet, got her shots and decided if we couldn’t find owners she was going to stay with us. Needless to say, we never found owners.
We got to work on getting her back in shape. I actually started to count the number of ticks I picked off her, but stopped at 70. My husband later told me that he had done the same thing, but stopped at 50. Fast forward a couple months and the “spot” that was on her right, front elbow had blown up….it was about three inches in diameter. Originally we thought it would heal on its own, then it just seemed that over night it was huge. We took her to the vet and was told it was a pressure sore. Antibiotics didn’t touch it. I took her back and asked if it could be cancer. The biopsy showed a Grade III Mast Cell Tumor.
Immediately I switched vets. Our original vet is an old country vet, and I just felt that he should’ve realized there was something wrong since it didn’t heal. Of course I don’t blame him completely. I beat myself up everyday with the “if only”s. If I would’ve asked questions immediately maybe we would have caught it at grade II or even grade I and her prognosis might be better…you know how it is….
Our new vet is amazing. She’s very patient and spends a whole lot of time answering my questions. Of course the only option is to amputate. However there are no guarantees that the cancer hasn’t already spread. I can’t stand the thought of putting her through major surgery and her having to deal with the cancer anyway. I put her through the first round of tests…blood work, buffy coat analysis and x-rays. They all came back clear so I scheduled the amputation for the 15th of February. But I just didn’t feel right about it. I struggled so much that I opted for more tests, knowing that if they came back negative I still had no guarantee that the cancer hasn’t spread. But if they came back positive then I would know not to put her through amputation. So I had an abdominal ultrasound and biopsy of the liver and spleen done. All came back clear. So I have once again scheduled the amputation for next Tuesday, March 2nd.
I’m obsessed with this whole thing, paranoid, worrying myself until I have developed an ulcer. I check her everyday for some sign that it has spread still fearing putting her through surgery. Then yesterday I found a lump on her hind leg. I don’t know what it is of course, but in my mind the cancer has spread and this is it. I still plan on taking her Tuesday, but I’m going to ask the vet to look at the spot and maybe do a needle aspirate to see if she sees anything suspicious. If so, I’ll just bring her back home and enjoy the time we have with her. If not, the amputation is going to happen.
One of the things I will never forget, no matter the outcome, is the fact that it wasn’t until we started paying special attention to the spot on her leg that she started acting like she is truly our dog. She seems more alive than she has the whole time we’ve had her. She now plays harder than any of the other two, even though by the vets estimates she is the oldest. She loves on us more and just seems happier. Maybe she’s relieved she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Maybe she’s relieved that we’re helping her. I don’t know. But its crazy how even dogs live better when their lives are at stake.
The reason I’m doing this blog is I need advice and support. My husband is a wonderful man, but a man none-the-less, so he has trouble with the support part of this. I want to do everything I can for her, but I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to put her through a bunch of bad things that won’t help her just so I can help my conscience or hopefully have her around a few extra months. Like I said, I will do the amputation if there still isn’t any sign of metastasis. But I want to do more. I’ve read some things of holistic treatments but I can’t wrap my head around it. I remember reading one comment where they mentioned Essiac Tea. Have any of you had experience with this? Can anyone give me advice?
Thank you so much ahead of time! And good luck to all of you going through similar or worse situations. You are all in my prayers.
Leslie
Roxy, Kali and Dakota’s Mom
on February 27, 2010 at 8:08 pm
Hi Leslie,
My pug girl Maggie lost her left rear leg to a MCT. You can read her story at: http: //maggiesjourney.tripawds.com/maggies-story/
On the second spot- keep in mind that mast cell tumors can appear in different places and are not necessarily mets from the ‘original’ tumor. Ask your vet about this. Maggie has had 4 cutaneous MCTs removed since her amp, and they do not appear to be mets. In fact Maggie has been remarkably healthy until a recent problem not related to her cancer.
Not to scare you- but I did all the pre surgery tests as well- thinking the same as you. Everything was clean. Well, post surgery was when I found out that the cancer was in the lymph system so we did chemo. We have had an amazing run since Mag was given 6 to 9 months.
The point of telling you this is that all you can do is collect all the info you can, and make the best decision you can. There are no guarantees and prognosis are just stats. Some dogs exceed expectations, some fall short. There is no way to tell. What we like to say here is that there is no wrong decision if you make it with love and with Roxy’s best interest at heart.
Check out the forums for more information if you haven’t already. And check out Mel’s blog- he is a MCT dog that just passed his one month ampuversary.
Feel free to PM me or email me- although I must say that I am not on the computer as much as usual since Mag is sort of sick.
Karen and the pug girls
on February 27, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Leslie, Bless you for taking Roxy in and bless you for helping her in this time in her life. We got Shelby after she had her amputation, so I can’t be of much help for you there.
All I can say is listen to and work with your vet and listen to your gut. Quality of life is what it’s all about and Roxy will help you there, she sounds like a very special dog who found her very special pawrents. If her life with you is for a short time, you’ll know you gave her a home, love, care and she did not face her final battle alone.
There are a ton of caring folks here who will offer help and support
Sending pawsitive thoughts and prayers your way.
on February 28, 2010 at 12:58 am
I know exactly how you feel. My golden, Opie, limped for more than a month before I even took him to the vet. Opie is 8 years old and has always been a bit clumsy and accident prone. Several times during his life he pulled shoulder muscles and would limp, but always got better. I am mad at myself for it taking him getting a stress fracture to really believe the limp that didn’t get better, was something more than a pulled muscle.
He had stage IV osteosarcoma. I had his lungs x-rayed and blood work done and it was all clear, so I scheduled his amputation, but I canceled it the day before it was to take place. I hated that there were no guarantees and no way to know how much more time he would have if any. I was told that the amputation may not buy more time, but would make what time he had pain free.
After I thought about it for awhile, I got mad at myself again for canceling the surgery…what if the delay was enough time for it to spread, what if…what if…what if….Then I realized I had to decide and then go through with that decision and not look back. I decided and my husband agreed that we would have the leg removed. That was 4 months ago.
Opie is lying on the floor right now chewing on a bone…having figured out a way to do that with just one foreleg. He is happy. He runs and chases his ball. A few weeks ago he humped his teddy bear and though it probably sounds weird, my husband and I cheered because we knew then that he was absolutely the same dog and for now completely happy. I know that could change tomorrow. Each day has the potential to be his last good day, but you can’t live like that; in anticipation of the worst. So we are learning how to live in the moment.
No one can tell you what to do. You know your dog best. Some dogs do not have the best results, some live for years. There is no way to know. It sounds like you have taken a dog that was neglected and had a real hard time and gave her a good home and alot of love. You can’t make a wrong decision. No matter your decision, it is the right decision because you thought and agonized and took the information you had and decided. That is the right decision. Ask yourself if you need a guarantee or can you gamble and come to terms (even if Roxy lives for only months) that you made the right decision based upon the information you had at the time. That is all you can do. Make your decision based upon the information you have now. Then don’t look back. Live in the now and make Roxy’s life a good one, just as you have been doing.
Sorry for this comment being so long. I just really get what you are saying. Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing something was wrong. You don’t have a crystal ball and dogs aren’t that easy to read because they tolerate such a higher level of pain than any of us could. Hang in there and Good Luck.
on February 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Hi Leslie
Catie, our 6-year-old Golden Retriever, had her front leg amputated on January 13. Long before she was actually definitively diagnosed with osteosarcoma, when I first wondered about the possibility of cancer, I blurted, quite adamantly, to my husband that if it WAS cancer there was NO WAY I was having her leg cut off. It seemed, from my human perspective, cruel and unusual punishment.
Man, have I had to eat those words. When it came right down to it, it was really the only thing we could do unless we wanted to lose her. And she was in such pain; she never whimpered or complained but we knew from her eyes and her atrophied leg from putting little weight on it.
Catie’s recovery, her resilience, her spirit has amazed and inspired us. She is happy. She doesn’t have pain. She runs in the park. She hops up on the bed to snuggle. She’s had one chemo treatment and is scheduled for another one on Monday.
For us, for me, NOT amputating her leg and improving her quality of life and extending her life would have been the selfish decision. But that was us.
Rest assured Roxy won’t feel maimed or burdened with any human stigmas from losing a limb. Dogs don’t overthink like their human families do.
In Catie’s case, osteosarcoma is a very aggressive cancer. Chances are, and we were told this at the outset, the cancer has already spread; hence, the chemo to slow down the disease but not to get rid of it. All of these treatments in our case are basically palliative and as long as her quality of life isn’t compromised we will enjoy each day we have with her.
You will decide what is right. And I so empathize with your struggle. It’s a hard decision but absolutely personal decision to make. I had to give up over-thinking and listen to my heart. And then I was okay. Ambivalence is an awful tortuous place to be. You may find you feel better once you make a decision and commit to it.
Warm thoughts sent your way.
Carmen
on February 28, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Roxy is so lucky to have stumbled into your yard. You sound like such a wonderful mom for her – your love for her is so evident by reading your post. I know you will decide on the best thing for Roxy because you do have her best interest at heart.
Holly has osteosarcoma so I don’t have any experience with Mast Cell tumors, but I’m sure others here will have advice for you.
I really just wanted to welcome you to Tripawds and let you know that whatever you end up deciding is right for Roxy, we’re all here for you.
Best wishes, hugs, and lots of healing thoughts…
Holly and Holly’s mom
on March 1, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Leslie,
Everyone has posted some wonderful posts…
In my dog’s case she had soft tissue sarcoma on her left rear knee. My biggest bummer about the whole thing — I hadn’t done amputation sooner — being misdiagnosed by two vets she had a possible ACL injury….that I didn’t believe. Instead, I tried to do conservative management for an injury she didn’t have…and she had to endure the pain that she did…when I finally got to a vet that knew what was really wrong with her.
I had two choices — amputate or put her down..the time was near with her pain and her growing tumor on her knee.
Was it a tough decision? Well, for some reason, deciding to amputate was easier for me until I saw her AFTER surgery. But I have learned to keep telling myself that Maggie is still here with me and wants to be here….albiet with only three legs.
You will make the right decision for Roxy…whatever that decision is..it will be right.
Hugs to you,
Tracy, Maggie’s Mom