Roxy's New Life

Ok, so the first part of this post is random.  But I felt like sharing my thoughts with this community because I figured if anyone can relate, it would be all my fellow animal lovers here.  And for some reason I need to find someone who can relate with this.  With one holiday behind us, and another coming up fast, I’m so grateful for my family.  I’m grateful for the love between us and the many blessings God has given us.  My house is not fancy, it’s actually very plain.  But it’s a home, with heat and safety, and filled to the brim with fur babies to warm our hearts as well.  I’m most grateful for that blessing.  Cold weather is settling in, with temps in the 20′s overnight.  We’ve been getting rain and snow flurries.  I used to love winter without hesitation.  But that was when I was a child and I didn’t know the things I know now.  I still prefer the cold of winter to the heat of summer.  But I can’t really enjoy it anymore.  Because everytime I’m sitting on my couch with my son and at least a couple animals, all snuggled up in a blanket, I worry about and feel sorry for those babies and animals that don’t have that shelter/warmth/love.  When the snow is falling, I can’t look at it the way most people do and just see the beauty of the snow.  I worry about that short haired dog that some sad excuse of a human being has left tied up in the back yard with not even so much as a dog house, shivering under that snow.  I hate that I can’t enjoy it.  I try to.  But no matter what I always come back to those poor animals.  I just want to go out and find them all and just hold them until they’re warm, until they aren’t scared anymore.  It hurts my heart to know they’re suffering and I can’t save them.  I recently realized that because of this, I felt guilty for the things I have, that I didn’t show my appreciation enough, if that makes sense.  So now I’m trying to change my view point.  Turning a new leaf.  I don’t really have to feel bad for the blessings in my life, as long as I use those blessings to help other people/animals when I have the opportunity.  Maybe this new view point will help me enjoy the season a little more. 

One thing I don’t have any problem enjoying is the six animals in my home, 3 dogs, 3 cats.  5 of which were once homeless and we brought in.  Not the least of which is our Roxy.  Roxy is a trooper, like all tripawds.  She just happened to wander into our back yard that cold May night in 2009.  I just happened to look out my window just in time to see her trotting along.  How she was going, I’ll never understand.  She was so close to death, so exhausted, she slept for 3 days.  She ate off of a paper plate with her head laying on it because she couldn’t hold her head up.  She came around though.  Her hair was coarse, but her bones slowly faded from sight.  She would hang out on the outskirts of rooms and watch us, and watch the other two dogs play.  Then she started barking at them from the edges of their wrestling matches.  Then she eventually joined them, very cautiously at first. 

Then came the diagnosis in January 2010.  God, it was so unfair.  She just found a good life.  So we decided to give her another chance.  On March 2, 2010, her leg was amputated.  Since then we’ve had our fair share of scares.  She was diagnosed with arthritis, which is an uphill battle all on its own.  She has near constant allergy breakouts (which I’m always swearing is a return of the Mast Cell).  But she is so. incredibly. happy.  And for that, I would do it all again.  And now, almost 2-and-a-half years to the day she showed up, Roxy is a cuddler!!!  She will hop up on the couch, get her neck rubs, and instead of jumping down and laying by herself when the rubs are done, she lays down against your leg.  I don’t know if you guys understand how huge this is, but….THIS IS HUGE!!  I didn’t think she would ever do it.  I didn’t think she would ever have that level of comfort, or need to be close to us, or whatever it is that changed.  But it’s there.  And once again I am in awe of Roxy.  She’s so beautiful.  And I am so grateful. 

As I mentioned, her amputation was done on March 2, 2010.  Which makes tomorrow 21 MONTHS!!  Just one more terrific thing to celebrate this season.  Now, I’m one of those people that is always afraid if I say something out loud I’m going to jinx it.  (I’m really just a kid at heart).  So I’m really hoping things stay good for Roxy.  She deserves every second of happiness she’s gotten in the last couple years, plus so many more.  So tonight, I’m going to sit on the floor with Roxy.  I’m going to give her a good long belly rub, and a little extra behind the ears.  I’m going to tell her that she is so incredibly special, that she has taught me so much, that her resilience is amazing, that the light in her eyes is awe inspiring, that she’s one hell of a fighter, and I’m so grateful.

Hi everyone!  I first have to apologize for being so absent lately.  I just started a new job and making the transition has been a little hectic.  But, the important thing is I’m back!  All you tripawd heros are always in my thougths, no matter where I am.  Ok, on to the good part of the post.

Tomorrow is Roxy’s 18 month ampuversary!  We are so blessed.  I realize this.  I also realize the rug could be ripped out from under our feet at any moment.  I try my hardest not to think of that, but it’s so hard with all of these impossible human emotions.  It’s been harder lately because it really seems that Roxy is slowing down.  I’m not going to lie, I’ve been worried sick lately…literally.  My stomach burns all the time from the stress I feel worrying about Roxy and whether her body is going to give out on her, or the evil cancer will soon rear its ugly head, or already has and I’m just in denial.  I’ll explain.

A couple weeks ago this quarter size spot came out of nowhere and landed on Roxy’s belly.  The skin pigmentation turned black, it swelled up and got red.  I made a vet appt.  A couple days later (and of course before the vet appt) the swelling went away and it was just a black spot with a couple bumps in it.  The vet poked, prodded, squeezed, squished, and everything else and said there was no way she could get a aspiration.  I’m to watch it and see what it does.  Of course in my head I just know it’s the cancer coming back.  I used to be an optimistic person.  But I think adulthood has turned me in to a pessimist. 

Also, Roxy has been moving around a lot less the last couple days and when she does move it seems to be much slower.  She was diagnosed with pretty bad arthritis a few months back.  I used to say I hope it’s “just” the arthritis.  I no longer say “just” arthritis.  The arthritis is horrible.  I believe Shanna pointed that out.  Now I say, well I think I would rather it be the arthritis than the cancer.  My mom says her arthritis has been terrible the last couple days, so maybe it really is the arthritis.  Maybe that is better, maybe it’s not.  I don’t know anymore. 

All I know for sure is my girl is here, now, and we truly are blessed with that.  I’m trying like hell to stay positive and just love her with all my might.  She deserves nothing less.  I’m trying like hell not to fear for her every minute of every day.  I’m trying like hell to be more dog.  I wish I was a dog.  One of our dogs.  Right now that constant innocents and stress free life sounds like euphoria.  I’m so jealous. 

Sorry for the depressing tone.  This is a time for celebration after all.  I’m just not much in the spirit at the moment.  Will all you tripawds do a little celebrating in Roxy’s honor?  Maybe I’ll feel the love and be a little stronger for her actual ampuversary tomorrow. 

Thank you!  And love to you all!

Leslie

Happy4th of July, everyone!  I just wanted to give a quick shout out to my girl, Roxy.  Saturday was 16 months!!  She seems to still be doing well, hopping strong.    So we’re going to add a little extra love to our celebrations today!  I hope you are all able to enjoy this incredible holiday and remember all those that have allowed us to celebrate our freedom. 

til next time!

Leslie

Roxy has a bit of a new hop. To make a long story short, a couple weeks ago we came home to find that Roxy wasn’t getting around very well. I gave her some left over tramadol, and she seemed to improve. Until late last week. Friday Roxy was having a lot of trouble getting around and her appetite was lacking. She was definitely hurting, but I couldn’t figure out where. By Saturday she wasn’t getting up at all, except to do her business. And those times it was very slow moving. She’d move her front leg….then one back leg….then the other. She would only move a few steps, then she would either sit very slowly or just stand there looking completely lost.  When she would try to get up too fast she would whimper, and we could sometimes hear a pop when she got up or down.  Her appetite was almost none existent.  It was so heartbreaking.  Sunday morning we saw the same behavior and my anxieties went through the roof. I finally broke down and went to the forums for some advice. I thought (or maybe hoped) it could be arthritis, but I’ve never had a dog with arthritis so I wasn’t sure. Thankfully we saw some slight improvement in her as the day went on Sunday.
Monday morning I called the vet and got an appointment for that afternoon. When I got home from work to pick her up, she was moving so much better. Our dogs spend the day outside when we are at work. I figured Roxy must have spent the day in the sun on the porch. That was another good sign for arthritis rather than maybe nerve damage or spinal mets. Turns out arthritis is the official diagnosis. Dr. Hollis said Roxy has a lot of soreness in her lower spine and her right back hip. Luckily she does’t seem to have any issues with her remaining front leg. Hopefully it stays that way.

Today Roxy seems even better. Her hop is almost totally normal.  Her appetite is really good.  In fact, she seems to be wanting to make up for the missed meals from the weekend.  The main issue still hanging around is she doesn’t seem to be able to bend her head all the way to the floor.  That’s not an issue for meal times because she has a raised bowl.  But when she wants to pick up a toy she either has to lay down to get it or we hand it to her.  It’s sad, really, because she’ll hop around it acting like she’s trying to find the right position to get to it, and she whimpers a little sometimes.  Hopefully she recovers enough so that she can pick her toys up on her own.  If not, we’ll be here to hand them to her.   

Now we have to start figuring out what works best for our girl as far as managing pain and such.  I’m going to check into acupuncture for sure, and I’m thinking of trying to find a vet who does chiropractic work.  Whatever we do, I’ll be sure to post an update!

Leslie

Today is Roxy’s 14 month ampuversary. She’s still doing pretty well. Her skin allergies have been a little calmer the last couple months. She’s still crazy and loves to play, but when she calms down I’ve noticed she moves just a little slower. It makes me sad when I notice her a little slower, but I don’t worry too much because I know getting around on three legs has to be exhausting. Plus when she’s in full play she runs like the wind, and when we play tug of war she about pulls my arm out of the socket. I swear, I’ve never played with a dog that size that has that much power.
She had her annual check up and vaccinations over the weekend. Our vet still thinks she looks fantastic and can’t believe she’s still here. We are so blessed. Our vet also noticed the extra gray around her face this time, so I guess it wasn’t in my head. Shari and Dakota, if you’re reading this, Dakota isn’t the only one turning gray rapidly lately. He’s in good company.
We still haven’t ever done follow up xrays. She has Mast Cell instead of OSA, so I guess chance of mets in the lungs are a little less. I must admit, a part of me would really love to do an ultrasound of the spleen and liver since that’s where MCT tends to go, but if we found it there it would just make me worry and fret all the time. And what’s the point in that if Roxy isn’t worried about it???
I’m always thinking of our fellow tripawds. Hopefully the weather starts cooperating soon and we can all enjoy life just a little more.

Leslie

This Wednesday, March 2nd, is Roxy’s ONE YEAR AMPUVERSARY!!!  This is such a huge milestone for her.  And what better way to celebrate than to have my girl honored with the two great new designs in the gift blog! I truly am humbled, grateful, and so excited all at the same time.  Really, just perfect timing Jim and Renee!  Thank you so much for taking your time to honor Roxy.  I don’t know how to repay you except to wear the gear with pride and keep spreading the news about this incredible website. 

This week will be filled with cheese and ice cream for all!  I mean can you really celebrate a one year ampuversary for one day only?  I don’t think so!  All you tripawds out there should get a little extra treat to celebrate with us!  Just tell your pawrents. 

Spring is on the way.  Which means breazy days lounging on the porch and walks around the lake!  Ah, Roxy loves spring.  I can tell they’re all getting a little cabin fever.  I just can’t wait for warmth! 

Leslie

Here we are, 11 months out from Roxy’s amputation.  A point I know most tripawd parents don’t ever think they’ll reach when the journey first begins.  I know I didn’t.  But we’ve made it!  Sadly there isn’t much time for celebrating since it’s tax season.  But I’ll be sure to do something special for my girl this weekend.  I’m so proud of her….and so thankful she’s still with us. 

I have to admit, I’ve been worried about her lately.  She seemed to be slowing down a bit and licking her front wrist more.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized… I’m crazy.  Not everything she does has to involve that nasty “c” word.  So I decided to (finally) get her on a glucosamine/chondroitin supplement.  She really seems to be picking up after starting that, and paying less attention to that wrist.  (My husband agrees, so I know it’s not just in my head)  I’m going to get her in to the vet hopefully this weekend to see if maybe she has arthritis or something. 

Speaking of the vet.  Early January I was driving Ms. Hops to the vet.  It was a saturday, 9am, and 14 degrees outside.  The vets office is a 30 mile hike down the interstate and Roxy tends to get a little anxious on long car rides.  My husband had unfortunately talked me in to taking his car because it’s leather interior, easier to clean the dog hair out.  i won’t make that mistake again.  It’s not really an old car, it’s a 2002, but we have put nearly 180,000 miles on it, so it’s getting a little rough to drive…and the heater doesn’t really work all that well.  Anyway, Roxy starts showing signs of getting anxious and wanting fresh air.  So I decided to roll the window down a few inches to let her get the air she needed.  I knew it was only 14 degrees, but I had my coat, and hey, anything for our pups, right?  Rox got her air, but the window wouldn’t roll up!  So I go the rest of the drive to the vets office with the window down about 5 inches!  When I was leaving I still couldn’t get the stupid window to roll up.  So I decide I’m just going to bite the bullet and fly home as fast as I can.  Little did I know the vibrations would knock the window the rest of the way down about 5 minutes into the ride.  Oh, Roxy LOVED it…me, not so much.  One thing’s for sure, I was awake when I got home.

If you’ve read much of Roxy’s blog in the beginning, you might remember that Rox had a rough start.  She loves attention, but was never overly affectionate like my other boxers.  My other boxers are most content with their overly large hinies plopped squarely  in your lap.  Roxy would come over for some ear rubs and then hop off to lay on her own.  She has slowly made progress through the last few months, getting slightly more affectionate.  But in early January, for the first time EVER, Roxy jumped up on the couch and laid her head in my lap!!  This might sound completely silly, but I love that I have earned her trust that way.  It may have taken nearly two years, but progress is progress. 

All you tripawds and pawrents are always in my thoughts. 

Til next time!

Leslie

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who offered some sound advice, or even a silent prayer.  I realize that Roxy’s injury is not huge on the overall scale, it’s just my current struggle.  I was completely losing track of our reality.  Reality is there are going to be injuries with a playful, energetic tripawd.  Reality is she’s going to stress me out from time to time.  Reality is I’m going to have to say goodbye someday.  I lost my focus.  It went too far into the future when I should have been looking at today.  I’ve had it too easy since Roxy’s amputation and got too comfortable.  So thank you.  It’s always good for a person to be reminded of what’s important.

Well, Roxy is proving to be a true tripawd, taking me on a crazy winding path.  She had greatly improved since she injured her hind leg, seemed to be almost back to normal.  But she seems to have declined the last few days.  Not a whole lot as of right now, but enough to make me worry more.  I’ve been watching her leg real close and noticed a couple days ago that it seemed to be sensitive again.  This morning she was holding it up a little bit again.  I’ve given her another tramadol and am making her rest. 

I just hate this…for so many reasons.  The pain and inconvenience she’s experiencing, the fear in me and my family, and the horrible thoughts it puts in my mind.  I just think of all the stories I’ve read like this that seem to never have an end, or at least not a good end.  I don’t want Roxy to hurt, I don’t want her to be confined by anything.  That’s not a good life in my opinion.  I also don’t want this to be the classic story of “my dog was limping, the vet said it was a strained muscle, she got better, then she was limping again, now my vet says it’s cancer.”  Oh my Lord, what a nightmare!!!  Roxy deserves so much more.  I know, I know, they all do.  This isn’t any more tragic than if a 4-legger had injured a leg.  But it feels that way right now, in this time, when I’m watching my girl struggle, AGAIN, and praying that this isn’t going to follow that same horrible story-line.  Who wrote that stupid story anyway?  And why do I keep reading it?

Hi guys.  Thanks for the well wishes and your concern.  As always, it’s appreciated. 

Roxy is getting better bit by bit.  She has slowly started to use her injured leg more often.  Last night, when I got home from work, she jumped up on her hind legs to greet me.  Of course it scared the bejeezes out of me because I don’t want her to reinjure the leg.  But it says a lot about her progress because that’s the first time she’s done that since Sunday. 

Another sign that she’s getting back to normal is she decided to brave the wood floors in our bedroom last night (with me hovering of  course).  The dogs’ beds are in our room, and she’s used to a routine of going to bed the same time I do.  However, when she hurt her leg she couldn’t get around on our floor.  We’ve tried non-slip rugs, and all the great ideas I’ve read on here, but when there’s a rug down, she does everything she can to AVOID it.  It’s so strange.  So, since our floor was dangerous for her I decided best to lock her out of our room so not to take any unnecessary chances.  And of course I couldn’t leave her out of the room by herself all night…so I’ve slept on the couch all week.  Just so she would have company until she gets better.  Hey, if it were me, and I couldn’t do my usual thing for some reason, I would hope someone would keep me company too. 

She’s been staying with my aunt during the day.  I’m so thankful that she was willing to keep her for us.  I would have been a nervous mess all day if she were home with the others.  Not only are the others almost twice her size, they also seem completely oblivious to the fact that she’s having issues.  Some dogs are sensitive about these things…not my horses.  So Roxy has been hanging out with Vickie and her Golden/Lab mix Mason, who looks strikingly similar to Kenmore…but with a pink nose.

I was talking with a co-worker this morning about how she’s been hopping around on her two right legs this week and how amazing it is, and it hit me.  I should have taken video.  But I was too concerned for her safety to think of something like that.  And hopefully I’ll never have the opportunity to get it on video again!

Fingers crossed that she continues to get better!

Leslie